When it comes to managing life’s physical and mental clutter, Tyler Moore, known on Instagram as Tidy Dad, has a wealth of wisdom to share. Recently, Hannah Choi had the pleasure of interviewing Tyler on our Focus Forward podcast to discuss his new book, Tidy Up Your Life. While his approach focuses primarily on tidying and organization, the parallels to strengthening executive function (EF) skills are impossible to miss. These skills—including planning, organizing, cognitive flexibility, and self-regulation—are at the heart of what it takes to tidy up both your home and your mind. In this blog, we’ll share some of the key insights from our conversation and explore how tidying up can transform not just your space but also your executive function skills.
Navigating the Messy Middle
Tyler introduced the concept of the “messy middle”—those uncertain, often uncomfortable periods of life where everything feels in flux. Whether you’re in the chaos of transitioning into parenthood, facing a new school year, or simply focusing on decluttering your life, the messy middle is a reality we all face. Tyler’s advice? Embrace it.
One of the most powerful ways to navigate these times is by strengthening cognitive flexibility, an essential EF skill. Cognitive flexibility allows us to adjust our thinking, shift plans when circumstances change, and reframe challenges as opportunities. Tyler shared that during such periods, it’s crucial not to set overly rigid expectations. Instead, allow room for pivoting and adapting to the realities of life. This mindset not only helps us cope but also keeps us moving forward. It helps us see that we are truly in the “messy middle” and while uncomfortable, it is temporary.
Values as a Compass
One of the most striking parts of our discussion was Tyler’s emphasis on aligning physical work with personal values. He shared a personal story about rearranging his apartment, an exercise that inadvertently led to deeper self-reflection and started his Tidy Dad journey. What began as what Tyler thought was a simple switch of bedrooms with his daughters turned into a huge mess and a realization about the sustainability of their life in New York City and the need to prioritize family time. Through this process, he learned that before diving in and buying the cute baskets to organize your stuff or rearranging the entire house in one go, you’ll actually want to start by examining your own values about your life, your stuff, and how you want to live.
Tyler makes a strong argument for making sure you’re able to define what your “just enough” is. If you’re struggling to determine what your values are, take some time to consider what “just enough” means for you. This definition will be different for everyone but if you can truly define your or your family’s “just enough”, you’ll be able to use this as a guide for making decluttering decisions. Tyler shares that “the overarching philosophy of tidy up your life is, how can you truly make space for what matters to you and be fiercely protective of what it is that matters to you”.
Using our values as a compass while we’re decluttering, or even just planning to declutter, is made easier by strong executive function skills like metacognition (thinking about your thinking) and self-regulation. When we are able to understand our core values and what we need for success (metacognition), we’re better equipped to make decisions that align with our long-term goals, whether that’s creating a more peaceful home environment or rethinking major life choices. When we can persist through the emotional and physical challenges of making big changes to how we live and how we manage our stuff (self-regulation), we are more likely to reach our goals.
The Practical Side of Tidying
As we just explored, Tyler’s approach encourages readers to start by understanding their values and what truly matters to them. This foundational step ensures that any changes we make while decluttering our lives are aligned with our priorities, making the process not just practical but deeply meaningful. While our podcast conversation leaned heavily on the mental and emotional aspects of tidying, Tyler also shared some practical advice. Tyler recommends tackling your physical spaces in this order: first organizing, then tidying, and finally cleaning. These actions require executive function skills like planning, prioritization, and self-regulation. He recommends starting with small, manageable tasks—organizing a single drawer, for instance—to build momentum. This mirrors the EF skill of task initiation, which can often be the hardest step in any project. You can find more practical and adaptable suggestions for tidying and cleaning in his book.
Tyler also spoke about the importance of routines to help maintain our minds and physical spaces. One of his own habits is spending 15 minutes or so cleaning a specific area of his house each weekday morning. This approach prevents overwhelm by breaking cleaning down into manageable bites and ensures that tidying becomes a sustainable part of his daily life. For those struggling to develop routines, experimenting with different methods is key. Find what works for you and be open to tweaking your approach as needed.
The Role of Experimentation
Another theme that emerged was the importance of experimentation. Tyler emphasized that tidying isn’t a one-size-fits-all process. What works for one person may not work for another, and that’s okay. Tyler shared that “if you can identify…the rhythms of life, you can then begin to think about how routines can help to solve problems. The key is to try different routines and approaches until you find what feels right for you and the rhythms of your life. This experimentation requires an important executive function skill - cognitive flexibility. He shared a story about attempting to adjust his teaching schedule to better align with his work-life balance. Instead of feeling stuck in the choices offered by his school, he explored alternative solutions and found a more sustainable path forward with hidden benefits he would likely not have discovered if he had not considered his options with a flexible and open mindset. This kind of flexible thinking is invaluable in all areas of life from home to school, to professional settings.
Metacognition and self-regulation make an appearance here again. The ability to evaluate your progress and make adjustments as needed is crucial during and after the experimentation phase. Whether you’re organizing your closet or reassessing your morning routine, being willing to experiment can lead to breakthroughs you might not have anticipated. It’s likely that one or more of your experiments may not work as you expect, so being able to stay regulated and manage your emotions through that challenge is also key.
Bridging the Gap Between Home and Mind
One of the most compelling aspects of Tyler’s philosophy is how seamlessly it bridges the gap between our physical and mental spaces. Tidying up our homes isn’t just about aesthetics; it’s about creating an environment that supports our mental well-being. Likewise, addressing mental clutter can make the physical process of tidying feel less daunting. Tyler’s approach reminds us that these two realms are interconnected and mutually beneficial. By strengthening EF skills like planning, prioritization, and self-regulation, we can tackle both with confidence and clarity. And as we tidy, those same skills grow stronger, creating a virtuous cycle that benefits every aspect of our lives.
Takeaways and Next Steps
If there’s one overarching lesson from my conversation with Tyler, it’s this: tidying is as much about mindset as it is about method. By identifying your core values, embracing cognitive flexibility, and being open to experimentation, you can transform not just your space but your entire approach to life’s challenges.
Here are a few actionable steps to get started:
- Identify Your Values: Take some time to reflect on what matters most to you. Write down your core values and use them as a guide for decision-making, whether you’re decluttering your home or navigating a major life change.
- Start Small: Choose one area, maybe even one drawer, in your home to organize, tidy, and clean. Focus on completing that task fully before moving on to the next.
- Experiment with Routines: Try out different cleaning and organizing routines to see what fits your lifestyle. Don’t be afraid to make adjustments along the way.
- Practice Cognitive Flexibility: When faced with challenges, take a step back and consider multiple solutions. Remember that there’s rarely only one right answer.
- Tidy Your Mind: Address mental clutter by journaling, meditating, or talking through your thoughts with a trusted friend, therapist, or coach. A clear mind makes the physical tidying process much easier.
Tyler’s insights in Tidy Up Your Life go far beyond organizing and cleaning. They offer a roadmap for aligning our external environments with our internal values, using executive function skills as the foundation for lasting change. Whether you’re navigating the messy middle, tackling physical clutter, or seeking clarity in your mental space, Tyler’s approach provides tools and inspiration to help you thrive. So, Take a deep breath, write those values down, grab a box for donations, and get ready to focus on decluttering your life—not just your home, but your mindset, too.