How to Build a Routine That Sticks (Finally!)

Routines are powerful tools that allow us to create space in our lives—space to focus on what truly matters. They help us free up mental energy, reduce decision fatigue, and bring structure to chaos. The question is, amidst this chaos, how do we go about building a routine that sticks, especially when our ADHD or executive dysfunction makes it hard? Recently on our Focus Forward podcast, I took a deep dive into the world of routines, uncovered their benefits, and explored how to build routines that fit your needs and lifestyle. 

Routines and Schedules: What’s the Difference?

Before we get into the nitty-gritty of routines, let’s take a look at some semantics. Many people use the terms "routine" and "schedule" interchangeably, but they’re not the same. Understanding the difference and how they can be used is important, especially if you have any anxiety about either or both terms.

• Schedules are rigid and time-bound, with specific activities assigned to specific times. For example:
  • 7:15 AM – Brush teeth and wash face
  • 7:20 AM – Stretch
  • 7:30 AM – Journal and plan the day
• Routines are patterns of behavior that provide structure without strict time constraints. For instance:
  • Each morning, brush your teeth and wash your face, stretch, then journal and plan the day.
    
    

Schedules can be very useful, and some people thrive with them and may even rely on them. An Executive Function coaching colleague of mine finds great comfort in following a predetermined schedule. My daughter loves creating a to-the-minute plan for herself after school most days. For them, strict schedules provide a sense of control and relieve any anxiety about not getting everything done. Knowing exactly what comes next helps them stay on track and feel more at ease.

For me, I’m pretty careful about when and how I use schedules. Their rigidity and the way my ADHD brain works don’t jive, so I’m hesitant to set myself up for what feels like an inevitable failure. Some of my Executive Function coaching students with ADHD have shared similar feelings. That said, I also recognize that sometimes, rigidity is exactly what I need—especially when I have a looming and important deadline. A strict schedule can take the guesswork out of prioritization, reducing the mental load of decision-making. But in general, I prefer routines because they allow for flexibility. I like being able to adjust the timing of tasks and even the order if I want, focusing instead on completing the steps in a way that suits me on that day. Depending on your personality, preferences, and life demands, you may prefer one over the other—or a mix of both, like me!

Why Routines Matter

Okay, so now that we’ve defined the two and explored the benefits of both, the rest of this article is an exploration of routines, how they can help, and how you can create routines that work for you. Let’s look at why routines matter and why you can feel good about considering inviting more routines into your life. You may be skeptical about your ability to stick to a routine or think you might feel limited, but routines can help to bring order to your life, reduce stress, and help you achieve your goals. Here’s how they make a difference:

1. Reduce Decision Fatigue
   Automating repetitive tasks eliminates the need to make decisions in the moment. This frees up mental energy for more important matters. Do the work ahead of time and save yourself the effort later when you might be tired or stressed.
2. Create Predictability
   A reliable routine provides stability in a chaotic world, helping us feel in control and maybe a little happier. For example, establishing a weekly ritual, like how the Tidy Dad, Tyler Moore does “Foodie Fridays” with his family, gives everyone something to look forward to.
3. Support Mental Health
   Healthy routines promote emotional regulation and reduce anxiety. A consistent bedtime routine can improve sleep quality, while a regular exercise routine reduces stress by lowering cortisol levels.
4. Free Up Cognitive Energy When routines are well-established, they streamline our actions and allow us to focus on complex or creative tasks. Unload that mental wheelbarrow!
5. Promoting Consistency Regular actions lead to long-term results. Just as we are modeling in our Motivation & Productivity Program’s morning accountability sessions, we are more likely to reach our goals when we are consistent.
6. Creating Space for Joy: With automated tasks out of the way, there’s more time for activities that bring fulfillment. We can also be sure to prioritize the joyful activities by incorporating them into our routines.
7. Supporting Personal Growth: Whether it’s learning a new skill, improving health, or strengthening relationships, routines pave the way. 

Building Routines That Work for You

Let’s take a look at how we can be successful at adding routines to our lives. Creating or adding to existing routines can feel overwhelming for many of us at first - that was, and sometimes still is, my experience! If you’re feeling intimidated or are afraid of failure, there are actionable steps you can take to set yourself up for success. If you already have some established routines and you’re looking to expand on them, these steps can be helpful, too. I bet if you take a careful look at your day, you likely already have some routines you’ve created and have been completing successfully on most days! Try it and write down what you discover! This can be a great starting point.

Start Small

Focus on creating only one new routine first. This prevents overwhelm and increases your chances of success. Maybe even just make a modification to an already existing routine! Known as “habit stacking,” this strategy involves attaching a new habit to an existing one. As I just mentioned, check your day - I bet you already have established routines that stick for you in your day. For example, if you already brush your teeth every morning, add in washing your face or a short stretch session immediately after you finish up brushing those choppers.

Use Visual Cues

Sticky notes, phone reminders, or other visual aids can reinforce routines. Be aware, though, that our brains may habituate to these cues over time. Keep them fresh by occasionally switching things up by adding a new visual cue or changing the appearance or location of your current cue. Or challenge yourself to make this step a habit before your brain habituates to the visual cue!

Add Choices for Flexibility

Including options within a routine can make it feel less restrictive. If your goal is to exercise daily, allow yourself to choose between a walk, a yoga session, or strength training. Want to read more? Have a paper book, an audiobook, and a book downloaded on your e-reader! Struggle to wash your hair regularly? Have a few different fun and good-smelling shampoos to choose from. 

Approach Routines as Experiments

Treat your routines as living experiments and “think like a scientist”. If something doesn’t work, observe without judgment, adjust, and try again. Lowering the stakes helps foster flexibility and resilience. Scientists don’t expect a perfect result with every experiment, so why should we?

What to Do When Routines Stop Working or Need a Change

Even the best-laid routines can stop working, especially when life throws you a curveball or two. Here’s how to pivot:

1. Evaluate What’s Not Working
   Look at the routines that aren’t sticking and ask yourself why. Are they too rigid? Do they need to be simplified? Are they not serving my needs anymore?
2. Adjust for Life Changes
   A routine that worked in one phase of life may not fit another. For example, moving to a new environment, like transitioning from city living to island life, as our podcast producer, Sean Potts, experienced, might require you to create entirely new routines.
3. Embrace Flexibility
   Life is unpredictable. Allow room for adjustments without viewing these deviations as failures.
4. Reframe Your Mindset
   Avoid judging yourself if a routine doesn’t stick immediately. Instead, see it as an opportunity to learn and refine. We often learn more from what doesn’t work than from what does!

The Takeaway

Routines aren’t about limiting your life—they’re about freeing your mind and energy to focus on what truly matters. They provide a foundation of predictability, stability, and growth. Whether you’re looking to improve your mental health, manage daily tasks more efficiently, or carve out time for what you love, routines can help you get there. So, start small, stay flexible, and think like a scientist. Your routines don’t have to be perfect—they just have to work for you.

If you’re struggling with creating and maintaining routines in your life because of ADHD or Executive Dysfunction, our Beyond BookSmart Executive Function Coaches can help! Learn more about how Beyond BookSmart's Executive Function coaching can help you find strategies that work for you or your child.