Prioritization skills become important for most children around the time they start going to school. There's only so much time in a day to work on things like art projects and homework. It takes some prioritization to make sure the important things get done well and on time. At this age, different after-school activities and interests like youth group, scouts and sports can start to conflict with each other. Your child needs to understand their priorities to make good decisions.
Prioritization, like other Executive Function skills, isn't always taught in a straightforward way. Executive Function skills are life management skills that help us plan, initiate and achieve our goals every day. Most people develop these skills by trial and error or observation. However, for some, Executive Function skills like prioritization can be particularly challenging. Fortunately, they can be taught, learned and applied with time and the right tools.
In this blog post, we’ll outline six ways you can help your child learn to prioritize tasks.
How can I teach my child skills for prioritization?
Prioritization is all about ranking tasks based on urgency and importance. Urgency, in this case, refers to things that need to be done sooner rather than later. Also, tasks that have negative consequences if they're not completed before a deadline fall into this category. Important tasks are those that have meaning behind them. They often require some time and energy to be done well.
Understanding what can realistically be done in the time available is another big part of prioritization. To get an accurate idea of what can be accomplished, you need to estimate how long different tasks will take and do some visualization to understand what conditions might affect the outcome. Thinking about everything that needs to be done all at once can be overwhelming. Taking some time to breathe together and breaking things down into smaller chunks will help you and your child get through it.
6 ways you can help your child learn to prioritize tasks
Can you remember how you learned to prioritize what's most important to you and what needs to be done urgently? These things can be a little subjective, and each person’s brain works a little differently. The most important and urgent tasks don't always seem to be the most rewarding. That's why learning skills for prioritization and emotional regulation are particularly important.
Try these six strategies with your child to help them develop their prioritization skills:
- Big rocks — You may have seen this demonstration before: You can fit more rocks, gravel and sand into a jar if you start with the big pieces and work your way down to the smallest. "Big rocks" can be a metaphor for overall goals that are complex and important, or even milestones — for instance, earning specific scout badges or gathering the materials needed to start a project. Identifying big rocks and their time constraints are two big steps toward clarifying priorities.
- Urgency scoring — When there are a lot of tasks to prioritize, they can be hard to compare. Ask your child to try scoring things from least to most important using a scale of 1 to 5, then arrange the list in that order and make any adjustments as necessary.
- The Eisenhower matrix — Things can be both important and urgent, one of these, or neither. The Eisenhower matrix, also known as “Covey Quadrants,” can help your child sort out which things are important and urgent. They can use it to help determine what tasks to start with and set deadlines for important milestones. First, talk about the differences between things that need to be done soon and things that need dedicated time and focus. They can then draw a grid with “important” and “not important” on one axis and “urgent” and “not urgent” on the other. Sort some examples into the four quadrants together.
- To-do lists — A list in itself may not help your child determine where to put their time and energy. However, lists can help them plan their week and stay focused if they limit the items to things they can realistically do in one day. Lists can also provide a visual reminder to keep moving, motivating them to cross everything off before bedtime.
- 5-finger breathing — This is a technique to help kids calm down so they can think clearly while they work on prioritization. Have your child find a quiet place to sit and hold up one hand. They can use the index finger from one hand and start to trace up and down the edges of the fingers on their other hand, starting with the thumb. They should inhale deeply as they trace up the side of one finger, then exhale as they travel down the other side. Have them continue tracing their hand as they continue the same breathing pattern. Then they can do it again with the other hand.
- 5-minute goals — This tool will help your child get started on an overwhelming task and make progress in manageable, bite-sized chunks. Have your child set a timer for five minutes and see how much they can do in that time. They can take a step back when the timer goes off and decide if they want to take a break or keep going. They may not finish the entire task in one go, but they'll be a lot further along!
Get personalized support with prioritization from Beyond BookSmart
Without prioritization skills, having a long list of to-dos can get very stressful. Sometimes this can stop a person from getting started in the first place. That's why emotion regulation and prioritization go hand in hand. Learning to manage stress and find a calm state of mind is half the battle.
Helping a young person learn Executive Function skills is a big job. At Beyond BookSmart, we offer Executive Function coaching services to help people find the tools and processes that work for them. Our compassionate coaches teach prioritization by helping clients learn to assess importance and urgency and then set realistic goals.
We provide some of these tools for free on our website. Download our Priority Matrix Guide to help your child with prioritization exercises like the ones in this article.
Are you ready to call in some additional support? Get in touch with our team today to get started. We'll match your child with an Executive Function coach they're guaranteed to love.
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