“How Can I Be More Disciplined?”: 10 Ways You Can Build Your Self-Discipline

Once you reach high school, your parents or caregivers, teachers, coaches, and mentors will start expecting you to manage responsibilities at home and at school with a little more independence. This is when you might start hearing more messages about laziness, motivation and self-discipline. Indeed, many of your bigger goals in life will take a combination of life skills and Executive Function skills.

Executive Function skills are the basic skills that we all need to be effective in planning, initiating and achieving great things. They can be taught, learned and applied with time and the right tools. When you dig a little deeper, you might find that appearing disciplined and being the person you want to be isn't all about willpower. Finding your own unique approach can unlock new levels of focus and productivity.

In this blog post, we’ll provide a positive perspective on self-discipline and share 10 ways you can start to develop this skill.

How to build self-discipline

The first thing to understand about self-discipline is that each person works with a different set of strengths and weaknesses. The fact that we're all different is a great thing. So it's not necessarily about "better" or "worse," but what's most effective. Nobody's brain works better when they're under stress. A little self-compassion and flexibility will actually help you more than a harsher approach. Things like resilience, motivation and focus might be more helpful to you than discipline.

To give you some practical advice, making sure your basic needs are met will give you a good head start. Eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and get the recommended eight to nine hours of sleep every night. Make sure you have a clear strategy for the goals you want to accomplish, but try to be flexible when things don't work out the way you planned. Find ways to resist distraction and keep yourself accountable. Finally, reward yourself for your efforts often.

10 ways to be more disciplined

Initiating tasks, staying focused and managing overwhelm are all Executive Function skills that people learn at different times, in different ways. These challenges, not a lack of discipline, lead to distraction and procrastination. The key to getting things done and working more consistently lies in understanding your challenges. Then you can find solutions that make things easier. This is the basis of what we do in Executive Function coaching.

Try the following 10 tips to develop your self-discipline:

• Tone down your judgment — It bears repeating: Pressure and stress don't help you perform at your best. Try to see your strengths and weaknesses for what they are and accept them as parts of you. Then have the flexibility to find unique approaches that work for you.
• Meet your basic needs — Staying focused and motivated can take a lot of mental energy. You'll find that your physical state affects your ability to think. Take care of yourself by eating a variety of foods, exercising and getting plenty of sleep.
• Have a strategy — Discipline won't help you much if you're not taking an effective approach. Also, jumping into tasks in a haphazard way can be stressful and overwhelming. Prioritize what needs to be done and break things down into smaller steps. Write out your goals and use checklists to ensure that you stick with your plan.
• Understand your motivation — What makes you feel like you're getting things done? And what are your reasons for doing them? The dopamine reward system in your brain plays a big role in your sense of motivation. Focusing on what feels most rewarding can help make daily tasks feel like less of a chore.
• Resist distractions — Distractions can derail the best of intentions. Block them out by doing homework and projects in a dedicated workspace that you keep clean and tidy. Find an app that restricts access to social media and "fun" websites while you're doing homework. Put your phone in a drawer, and use earplugs or noise-canceling headphones.
• Build resilience — Resilience is like a more positive version of discipline. It means you can bear manageable levels of discomfort in order to achieve great things. It also means making time for self-care and de-stressing.
• Learn strategies for dealing with change — When you're working toward an important goal, obstacles and setbacks can be distressing. Mindfulness practices can help you stay calm during times of change, and cognitive flexibility is the skill you need to adapt.
• Fight procrastination — Some tasks will never be fun or easy. This is one place where discipline really applies. Go back to your reflections from tip number 4 and remind yourself why you want to get these things done. Sometimes getting started is half the battle. Set a timer for five minutes with the intention of taking a break once you've taken some critical first steps.
• Create accountability — Your own reflections and willpower may not be enough to motivate you in all situations. Sometimes friendly accountability from a friend or a mentor can be much more effective. Share your goals with someone you respect and ask them to check in on your progress.
• Reward yourself often — Positive reinforcement beats discipline and punishment every time. Reward yourself with breaks, snacks, treats or whatever gives you a little joy.

Free resource: Executive Function Guide & Toolkit

Get help with self-discipline from an Executive Function coach

When you take a step back and think about how you want to be in life, is it really discipline you're after? Or are there things you want to be good at? Or goals you want to accomplish? Being disciplined is just a means to an end. Clarifying what's meaningful to you and why can help you find more motivation.

It takes a lot of smaller skills and tools to appear disciplined. Discovering what works for you will take some learning and experimentation. At Beyond BookSmart, we offer Executive Function coaching for people of all ages. Your coach can help you assess your challenges and help you explore your options so you don't have to do this alone. Download our free Executive Function Toolkit to explore more helpful tips like the ones in this article.

Ready to get started? Ask your parents to contact our team today for more information.